Sunday, May 31, 2015

Weight Loss Phase 2

My first attempt with weight loss was a success. I went from 175 just after my second son was born to 139 a year later. The 35 lbs came off through a lot of hard work and dedication. I’m even a little lighter than my pre-baby weight, able to wear most of my clothes again, and feeling pretty proud of my accomplishment, since I’ve had to work very hard for it.

This weekend I found myself thinking; so now what? I have every intention of continuing to run 5K 3-4 times a week and doing yoga once or twice a week. At this point I can either accept my body as it is and relax the dietary restrictions I put on myself for the past few months, and settle in to my size M-L body. Or, I can keep going for a goal that seems unattainable. I can try to get back to 125, which I was at 19. For some reason, losing these 15 pounds seems so much more daunting than the 35 I lost already. It’s a challenge I’m a little afraid of.

It’s not the exercise that has me nervous. The “doing” is the easy part. It’s the “not doing” that has me worried. Which is, not eating the stuff I love so much. Not eating a few hundred calories of chocolate every day (chocolate adds up quickly – one lindor ball is 80!), not eating extra bread, pasta, and cheese, no more chips or cereal, etc. It took so much effort to get where I am, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to keep going. And I don’t like salad. I guess I’m going to learn to!

When I start to feel like this is never going to happen, I’m reminded of one of my favourite Star Wars lines. Yoda lifts the ship out of the swamp using the force, and Luke says “I don’t believe it!” and Yoda replies “That is why you fail.” If I don’t believe I can do this, I won’t be able to. I need to find some extra strength for this task, because I’m so worried of failing this time. I need to change my attitude so that I believe I can do this.

If you’re in the same situation I am, maybe we can share our progress and struggles together. Misery loves company, and not shoving chocolate in my face is kind of close to misery for me! There is truth behind “strength in numbers,” but right now I’m working on taking this task on myself and, as lame as it sounds, believing in myself.

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