Wednesday, January 28, 2015

The Brutal Truth: What only a Mom thinks while Running

I read this link (  about thoughts that runners have and felt that most of them are true. But after having kids, there are definitely some thoughts that are quite different than before. And they are not pleasant. They are not polite. They will probably offend some people. But they are the honest truth, and what only another mom can relate to.

 Here is my list of what a mom thinks when she runs:

1. Ok, I’ve looked at my ass from every possible angle in the mirror – no one can see the giant pad I’m wearing for pee protection
2. Oh no, that person looked at me, they must be able to see my pad
3. It’s ok, just get onto the path and not many people will be able to see you
4. Shit this sucks
5. Can’t do it today, too hard
6. Keep going, almost there
7. Really?
8. No, you haven’t even finished your first of five laps yet
9. Just get up this hill
10. Down hill, wee!
11. Oh no, lots of pee
12. Still lots of pee
13. Can people see it?
14. Maybe if I bend down and pretend to check my shoe, I can look at my crotch to make sure there is no visible pee
15. Yay no pee came through!
16. Keep running
17. Oh no, does my bra feel wet?
18. Is it sweat, or are my boobs leaking?
19. Ok, just flick the shirt like you’re hot, and have a quick peek.
20. Yay no milk came through!
21. This is too hard
22. Keep going, can’t be one of those moms who gains 50lbs after having kids
23. Just can’t be that woman!
24. “Remember her, she used to be so thin before kids….”
25. No, I won’t let that be me!
26. Shouldn’t you just be comfortable in your own body?
27. Shut up brain
28. Focus on running
29. Why did that guy just look at me, did pee come through yet?
30.  No, I’ve been through this many times, I’m fine!
31. Why do I even have to run? Why do women have to deal with this? Isn’t it enough that we go through the horrific pain of childbirth, destroy our bodies for our children, have saggy, leaky boobs and wider hips? Shouldn’t we just be rewarded with “wow, you’ve gone through all that? Have your old body back.”
32. Men don’t understand
33. Why am I doing this? My husband still thinks I’m beautiful and perfect
34. Aww, hubby
35. I miss him
36. I miss spending time with him on the couch, watching a movie over a glass of wine.
37. How can I live with someone and miss them so much?
38. He’s so amazing and supportive
39. He should have the best wife in the world
40. Not one with a saggy gross tummy
41. Not that he cares, but I care
42. Is it wrong to want to be sexy again?
43. No, keep running!
44. I do want to be sexy again!
45. Come on, hill! I’m going to make you by bitch
46. Down hill, wee
47. Oh no, more pee
48. Is it wrong to want to be a hot mom?
49. Not even hot, I’ll settle for “mildly attractive” again
50. At least I’ve got my daily allotment of one piece of chocolate waiting for me after this
51. Oh chocolate, I miss you, too. But we can’t have the kind of relationship we used to have 10 years ago
52. God, has it been that long since my undergrad? Since highschool?
53. But I have two wonderful kids now, and a house and husband
54. And love handles and pudge everywhere
55. Ok, almost done. One more hill
57. Pump it, come on!
57. Woo, top of the final hill!
58. Just downhill till the end
59. Oh no, more pee
60. Finished my run!
61. And….. yay, no pee showed!

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