My 4 month old has had a lot of trouble sleeping in his crib. For the first three months, he would only nap on me – the instant I put him down he would wake up, and be up for another 2 hours. This is extremely draining, both emotionally and physically. But a few weeks ago it seemed like we were making progress. He would take a nap in his crib for 45 to 90min. Still not as long as if he were on me, but not bad. I got a little break. But the past few days feel like a complete regression to those months when he would sleep only on me. And I couldn’t help but notice, as I picked him out of his crib today after another 20 minute nap, that what I experienced were the “classic” stages of grief. I’m not sure what this says about me. I don't mean to make light of the stages of grief, or the pain anyone has experienced (I too have gone through these from losing people close to me). But I thought it was interesting. This is what normally goes through my mind:
No, I didn’t just hear him make a noise. He’s still asleep. Just leave him be.
Seriously? You’re up already? Why can’t I just have a few minutes to myself?!
Would some more milk put you back to sleep? How about some bouncing / rocking?
No, he’s up. Sigh.
All right, let’s go watch the rest of that Buffy episode and play on the floor for another 2 hours.